defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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