I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize