he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
