Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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