You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
