i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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