I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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