So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
