Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
