And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
