dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
