just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
