wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
