And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
