Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Couch. On fire.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
