dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i think i have two assholes
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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