it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
