My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
