Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
