i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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