I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
