What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
