Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
