Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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