What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
