She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize