Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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