I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
