I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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