I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
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