There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
