i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
