I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
