IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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