hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
