Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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