ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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