I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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