I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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