2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
