meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
