when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
