I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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