And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
