Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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