he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
