so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
