So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
