I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
