forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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