someone threw a dead crab at me
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
