We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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