At least make sure they are 18
Why
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
