i jhust puked up my retainher.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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