That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
