Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
