you're like a bully in the Christmas story
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize