maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have fence marks all over my body
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
