Me. At least after what I've been through.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
