its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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