If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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