guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
