No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
