Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
