The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize