I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I don't think brook has ever known best
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
soo... how was my night?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
