I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
