Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
