in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
