sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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