last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
